Thursday, May 08, 2008

A bit of a rant

"Well, all I know is I had a good time last night. I'm gonna have a good time tonight. If we have enough good times together, I'm gonna get down on my knees. I'm gonna beg that girl to marry me. If we make a party on New Year's, I got a date for that party."

And so concludes Paddy Chayefsky's superbly written essay about the journey of a lonely 34 year old Bachelor in his search for love. The film directed by Delbert Mann went on to win not only the Best Picture Oscar for that year, but also a Best Director award for its Director; a Best Original Screenplay Award for its writer; and a Best Actor Award for the heart-rendering performance given by Ernest Borgnine. (It was also one of the biggest hits of the year, despite it being one of the first independent movies to have come out of the Hollywood system, which was produced by that gorgeous hunk of an actor--Burt Lancaster. It also went on to win the Palme d'or at the Cannes film festival--the second film in Hollywood history to have done so.)

The reason why I'm bringing up this particular movie (other than the fact that it happens to be a beloved favourite of mine) is because of the response that I got from some of the members on Metachat and Mefi after I'd posted about my budding relationship with a truly exceptional woman who I'd met earlier. I knew it would've been hard for them to understand given the circumstances (we've only been talking for a week now, and it's been over the internet), but I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt--thinking that they would share in my happiness. Or if not exactly show the same enthusiasm, maybe not be as pessimistic as some of them were. I don't know if it's just me (as a good friend of mine from the board pointed out: you happen to be the sensitive sort), or if this is truly a grudge to be held. But, none of them were kind enough to say: hey--Daanish--good going! I'm happy for you. You've finally found someone who you think is a match for you... that sounds terrific. But, and this is just an aside--you might want to be careful and take things a little slow just in case you scare her off. It happens, you know?

Why couldn't have anyone said something like that, instead of the: STOP! SLOW DOWN! SEE OTHER PEOPLE!!! God dammit--I don't want to see other people. I just want someone who shares some common ground with me (the more the better, and this particular woman happens to fit that criteria in spades) who I can build a life with. Get it??? I don't want to "date" other people--I just want someone, who has no reason to take a chance on me--to say to herself--you know--that guy isn't too bad--I think I'll give him a chance and see where it goes. And that's exactly what she did. I told her that I wasn't the type who could play games. I'm a pretty straight-forward guy and I want to write to you as much as I can. She said she liked reading my letters, and found them very touching. So, we're talking--and it feels great.

But, I'm still a little disappointed that I couldn't share this with my friends. And you know what really gets up my ass--I always feel like I try ten times harder to see things from their perspective than they try and see them from mine. I'd told them earlier about how much I was desperate for finding true love, and how much difference it would make in my life, but for some reason they chose to ignore that. I don't know why. Perhaps they have good reasons of their own, but they weren't what I was looking for at the time. Sigh. This is the second time that something like this has happened. The earlier one being the incident when I'd made a post declaring my sister's love for receiving bouquets, and had the anti-flower brigade rain down on me. Now it seems that I've riled up the anti-romance department... when will it end!?


hadjiboy said...

On behalf of mightshould:

Reminder my dear friend: Much of the dialogue you have in private with your girlfriend does not show up on the sites and people can be blindsided when things seem to move so quickly.

Your post of April 29 indicated that you're dipping your toe in the water = step 1. Then, the MeFi post indicated that you're ready to move on to something like step 9. Remember that the folks who are reminding you to go slow have little information and can only suggest that you look out for yourself by taking it slowly. I'm sure there is no ill will intended.

Carry on!

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