Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A fine balance

It'll be a month this coming Friday since we started talking with each other, Alhamdulillah! I've become a changed man to a certain extent because of her. Trying to pray five times a day at the mosque, reading my Quran regularly, learning about my Deen--this is something that I never imagined myself doing previously. I've also been a bit hasty with my affection--isolating it for her and not sharing it with my friends... for which I feel truly sorry. It's so easy to get wrapped up in these things and forget about the world around you, which is not something that I recommend. Your heart tells you--you know--you don't need anyone else now that you've got her, but you do. You need lots and lots of other things to keep you occupied so that you don't become obsessed with her and go mad--which is what I discovered--the hard way.

We hadn't spoken for a couple of hours one day, and I panicked... I tried contacting her incessantly and mailed her four to five emails declaring my undying love for her and how I would try and be worthy of her companionship. She was sweet about the entire thing, trying to explain to me how important it was that we take matters slowly, especially in lieu of our Islamic background. I agreed, and we both have decided to give it a couple of more years to see what happens. I'm trying to be optimistic about the whole affair, but it's not easy. I'm afraid that things might not work out, and I might lose her to someone else.

My mother already knows about the details, and this is the first girl that I've ever spoken about with her as far as marriage is concerned. (A month ago I was telling her that there was no way that I was getting married in the near future (seeing as how insecure my life was at the moment) but she's changed all that, and has made me want to succeed so that I can meet her someday soon, Inshallah!)

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